Hi hi, hello, greetings! I’m Shira Dabble, the bestest best halfling you’ll ever meet! Or did meet, since I can’t imagine you got my journal without somehow meeting me, and if you did, you’re a bad person and should give it back! Cause, um, it’s got a curse on it! Yeah, it’ll turn you into a frog or something if you don’t give it back so I can give you the cure, uh huh.
But if you did meet me and stuff, well, you’re probably okay. Probably.
But moving on!
So hello and stuff! Did I mention I’m Shira Dabble? Oh, right, I did. Well anyways, this is my journal, and I put important journally-stuff in it so I don’t forget, and so that I can show it other people when they ask about stuff that’s happened to me recently, cause I can’t be talking to people all the time, you know? But that’s neither here nor there, or anywhere really, since we’re still in this journal, and that’s probably somewhere in the journal-verse, which I’m sure isn’t here. Or there. But that’s aside the point, as THIS journal is about my adventures with this group of weirdos I met in a tavern!
You know, we should probably fix that someday. There are way too many weirdos in taverns…
So, where was I? Oh yeah, journals and adventure and stuff. Right!
So me and those guys I know… uh, what’s-his-name and who’s-his-face… where in a tavern, waiting for stuff to happen. To the untrained eye it may have appeared that I was shit-face drunk, but I assure you I was totally drinking him under the table! Yep, for reals!!
But even though I was so busy kicking his butt at drinking, I still noticed all the adventure-like stuff happening around us! Like, this farmer was all “Hey I need help and stuff!” and I was totally gonna go over and ask him what with, but a bunch of other losers got there first, so I totally knew it was a loser job, and just stayed where I was. And then there was this guard-like guy that was asking for people to guard his caravan, but ha! We were silly enough to fall for THAT! Everyone knows that stuff is all boring and lame and doesn’t pay well at all.
So yeah, not drunk and stuff, and then this really pretty lady – even prettier than me! – came over, and said she needed our help, and that we’d be richly rewarded, and that my eyes were pretty and stuff. Of course, the two hormone-fueled guys with me were like “HELL YEAH” but I was more suspicious! Yep! And not just cause there were two or three of her! Not that I was drunk or anything, I mean, cause I wasn’t, she was just all moving funny… just like the room…
So, er, the next morning (at least I think it was), the sun came up and I think someone woke me up… ow, my head… but anyways, yeah, we had agreed to help the hot chick out with her quest of awesomeness! What was it? Oh yeah, of course – she was being forced to marry some loser-man who totally didn’t deserve her! Or something – I wasn’t really paying attention. Oh yeah, and some elven lady and priesty guy overheard and offered to come with us and help and stuff, and I suppose it was okay and stuff, cause we need one of those, so yeah, they’re coming too.
… stupid light… stupid sound… ow, my head…