Alyssia, The Noble Land

Shira Dabble's Journal - Day 1
Shira Dabble's Journal

Entry 1
Hi hi, hello, greetings! I’m Shira Dabble, the bestest best halfling you’ll ever meet! Or did meet, since I can’t imagine you got my journal without somehow meeting me, and if you did, you’re a bad person and should give it back! Cause, um, it’s got a curse on it! Yeah, it’ll turn you into a frog or something if you don’t give it back so I can give you the cure, uh huh.

But if you did meet me and stuff, well, you’re probably okay. Probably.

But moving on!

So hello and stuff! Did I mention I’m Shira Dabble? Oh, right, I did. Well anyways, this is my journal, and I put important journally-stuff in it so I don’t forget, and so that I can show it other people when they ask about stuff that’s happened to me recently, cause I can’t be talking to people all the time, you know? But that’s neither here nor there, or anywhere really, since we’re still in this journal, and that’s probably somewhere in the journal-verse, which I’m sure isn’t here. Or there. But that’s aside the point, as THIS journal is about my adventures with this group of weirdos I met in a tavern!

You know, we should probably fix that someday. There are way too many weirdos in taverns…

Entry 2
So, where was I? Oh yeah, journals and adventure and stuff. Right!

So me and those guys I know… uh, what’s-his-name and who’s-his-face… where in a tavern, waiting for stuff to happen. To the untrained eye it may have appeared that I was shit-face drunk, but I assure you I was totally drinking him under the table! Yep, for reals!!

But even though I was so busy kicking his butt at drinking, I still noticed all the adventure-like stuff happening around us! Like, this farmer was all “Hey I need help and stuff!” and I was totally gonna go over and ask him what with, but a bunch of other losers got there first, so I totally knew it was a loser job, and just stayed where I was. And then there was this guard-like guy that was asking for people to guard his caravan, but ha! We were silly enough to fall for THAT! Everyone knows that stuff is all boring and lame and doesn’t pay well at all.

So yeah, not drunk and stuff, and then this really pretty lady – even prettier than me! – came over, and said she needed our help, and that we’d be richly rewarded, and that my eyes were pretty and stuff. Of course, the two hormone-fueled guys with me were like “HELL YEAH” but I was more suspicious! Yep! And not just cause there were two or three of her! Not that I was drunk or anything, I mean, cause I wasn’t, she was just all moving funny… just like the room…

Entry 3
So, er, the next morning (at least I think it was), the sun came up and I think someone woke me up… ow, my head… but anyways, yeah, we had agreed to help the hot chick out with her quest of awesomeness! What was it? Oh yeah, of course – she was being forced to marry some loser-man who totally didn’t deserve her! Or something – I wasn’t really paying attention. Oh yeah, and some elven lady and priesty guy overheard and offered to come with us and help and stuff, and I suppose it was okay and stuff, cause we need one of those, so yeah, they’re coming too.

… stupid light… stupid sound… ow, my head…

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Shira Dabble's Journal - Day 2
Shira Dabble's Journal 2

Entry 4
So we’re meeting her at dawn at this place outside of town, and she’s bringing horses for us to ride cause apparently we’re all poor (well I said I was at least, and it’s only cause Shifty McSuspicious over there was all like “Hey that’s my gold” and stuff… geez… I was just counting it for him!) and need horsies! Anyways, we’re there, and we hear stuff! Horses! Only… well, she’s there, but someone’s chasing her!

Oh noes! Its bad people probably most likely!

Well, I’ll take care of this! While the others were all like “We’ll wait for them!” I got into position, got out my sling, and threw a rock… right at the guy chasing her! Or rather, at his horse. Swack! And down he goes! Yay!

That makes me the hero, in case you didn’t know.

So yeah, she came up and was all like “You’re so awesome Shira, thank you! The rest of you, you’re not as cool as her, but since you’re with her, come and meet me at Westerholt. Tah!” and rode off. Just as more guard-guys came out of the gates.

… er, you know what, you guys can take care of them! I can’t be saving the day all the time, you know.

Entry 5
So the big mean guy I dropped was all like “Rawr!” and we were all “Rawr too!” and bad stuff was gonna happen, but that cleric guy we picked up – I think his name was Bob – shouted “Wait! Stop! He’s a not-bad person!” And well, it turns out, he wasn’t! Except he was mad about someone hitting his horse with a rock. And he hates halflings. And people with red hair.

Totally a mean bad person.

So, um, after the guards graciously invited us to come along with the sharp pointy things pointed at us, we learned that the mean person was a priest of the Missing God! And the pretty lady was a thief who stole stuff from the church! And the person who wasn’t me that hit his horse was in trouble and stuff.

I can’t believe Bob let her get away! Way to go, Bob, geez.

Entry 6
So um, yeah, aside from being criminals and stuff, my day’s going swell. How about yours?

Oh right, you can’t talk back, cause you’re reading a journal. How inconsiderate of you… really.

Anyways, so yeah, the head priest guy of my favorite deity who I totally didn’t hit with a rock wanted us to go and capture the bad lady, or better yet, retrieve the items she took, which were apparently ancient relics of awesomeness related to the Missing God that would help the clergy figure out more about the god they didn’t know anything about. You know, cause he’s missing and stuff. And we said “Sure!” cause it beat spending time in jail, and honestly, we should really make up for hitting head-priest Jar-head with a rock. Er, even if I didn’t do it, I mean. Cause I didn’t.

Honest!

But he gave us some provisions, a map, and a couple of really, really sad looking horses that honestly, I felt bad about getting on. I was afraid they’d break. Fortunately I had my donkey, Muley, to haul stuff for me, so I didn’t have to try putting stuff on my pony, whom I’m now calling Misery. Oh, and I also asked if he could have that elf lady ranger person who wanted to join us earlier actually join us now, since we need someone who can track and stuff and she’d be perfect for it and wouldn’t that just be nice to do instead of wandering around aimlessly?

They should be glad I’m around to think of these things for them.

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